How to Overcome the Fear of Rejection...
The first step towards getting over your fear of rejection is getting over your need of approval. Ask yourself this question.
Do you approve of everyone you meet? Do you like everyone you meet? This is like saying you like all the food in the world, all types of clothes, all cultures, all countries, all climates, all types of men and so on and so forth.
Naturally you don't. How can you like everyone and everything. There has to be something you like a little less, or simply don't like.
After all you can't like everybody, unless of course you are a politician!
In the same way that you can't possibly like everyone you meet; you can't expect the other person to like everyone they meet. Keep that thought in mind, while we analyze the fear of rejection. It is not necessary for everyone you meet to like you. Just as it is not
necessary for you to like everyone you meet.
Once you have given yourself the freedom 'to be' you will discover that you do not need everyone's approval to be happy. If a few people don't like you or approve of you, it's their loss. Not yours.
The moment you start thinking this way, you will feel a great sense of power and empowerment and you will be on your path to freedom, away from the constant need for reassurance and approval.
It won't matter whether you are tall or short, thin or fat, blonde haired or black eyed, confidence in yourself is what gives a woman that incandescent glow that is so attractive to everyone else, men and women alike.
So why do you have this great need for approval?
Spend some time with yourself, searching deep into your mind for to dig out the truth that is the root of your need for approval. Was it strict parents, unrealistic role models, childhood neglect, peer pressure ... or something else?
Whatever the case may be, once you have discovered the reason it will set you free.
You can think and say to yourself. Okay I was neglected as a child and that is a terrible thing for anyone to go through. But I am all
grown up now and I do not need anyone's approval to satisfy the inner child in me.
Rather I can be my own person because I have analyzed and accepted the reason for my deep seated desire for approval. And
since I approve of myself first and foremost I don't need anyone else's approval. If they like me, well that's good. It they don't well
that's okay too. This is the kind of thinking that will set the stage for confidence in your life.
Supportive / Self Serving Thoughts
Let's begin with supportive, self-serving thoughts, since the aim here is for you to like yourself first and foremost, and then the rest of the world (including men) will follow.
Here's a list of a few things you can and should do:
Think of all your plus points. Maybe you remain cool under pressure or have a rare talent for cooking. Draw up a list and write down all the plus points that you have. Dwell on what you have, forget about what you don't ... remember the half empty glass syndrome.
Every time you want to do something, whether it is approaching a man you like or talking to someone you just met and you are nervous, don't start thinking, 'Okay! That's it. I am fried!' Instead think positive. Tell yourself, you are cool and beautiful. You are worth it. Some lucky man is going to discover you and never let you go. Remember what we said about the human mind? Train your mind for success and to think positive and you will start believing in it yourself.
When you want to say something to someone that is a bit unpleasant, don't avoid it and put it off. Instead practice conflict training. Go over the scene in your mind. Imagine how it will play out. Imagine all the different possible scenarios from good to downright ugly. Then imagine yourself staying cool and holding your own even under pressure.
Practice how to tell your partner things you don't like about him. Instead of saying 'You do this ...' which immediately puts the other person on the defensive, practice saying 'I'. As in , 'I really don't like you leaving dirty clothes all over the place. It upsets me. Would you mind putting them in the laundry basket the moment you take them off' (okay well maybe that is expecting too much). Still the 'I' takes the blame away from the other person and does not create a feeling in the other person, of being pressurized, or being put on the defensive.
Ask yourself this, will I get the man I want because I can't stand up for myself ? The answer is no, because any man worth his salt would rather go out with a woman who is interesting and exciting rather than one who can be controlled.
Lastly ask yourself this, do you waste a lot of time thinking about the people you have met and how they are not exactly what you want them to be and if they were different you would like them as a friend? Normally you are friends with people who are compatible with you and forget about all the other thousands of people you meet in the world. It doesn't matter or affect you in the least about what they think or feel and similarly it shouldn't matter to you what others think and feel about you (that is, if you actually think they spend time thinking about you)
Be true to yourself. Be brave and tell yourself 'I don't care a F@ #K what the world thinks of me. If they like me, well that's nice and if they don't well too bad ... it's their bad luck'. Say it often enough and you will begin to believe and act on it and will find it hard to imagine a life when you weren't true to yourself.